I’m not sure if this is common for people other than myself, but once I start to get less busy, I start getting much more lazy. I have the tendency to make countless to-do lists- bullet-points top to bottom of things I won’t ever get around to actually doing. The worst part of this whole situation is that I’m also a very self-motivated person. This comes from my independence, but it’s also partially because I’m so incredibly stubborn that I don’t want to do something if someone is waiting on me to do it. For weeks now, my journal entries have been pages of scribbles of ideas for new stories or photo projects or pretty much anything I can think of, but I haven’t actually gotten around to starting any of these things. Its getting to the point where I’m all talk, no action. Meaning, I’m becoming what I hate most- idle. I work best when I’m stressed, but I’m most creative when I’m not. And I’m still trying to figure out the best way to fix that predicament.
I haven’t had a free weekend in a while, or at least one where I felt like actually doing something, so yesterday was a pretty special Saturday for me. Though it was cloudy all day, there were little moments where the sun would peek out just enough, to the point where you had to squint in order to see clearly. It was the first genuinely warm day of spring, and it was even better since I spent it with friends. I slept in later than I should have, ate non-breakfast food (beans and rice with a corn tortilla) for my late breakfast, ran errands with my mom, then met up with Audrey and Chloe to lounge around and do tarot-card readings.
After a while doing this, we’d asked all the questions we were interested in finding guidance for, and Chloe and I had very strong cravings for milkshakes. Chloe being lactose-intolerent and me being vegan (and Audrey having to go along with whatever our stomachs can bear) we decided on a whim to get on the metro and go to HipCityVeg in Chinatown just to satisfy these cravings. It was definitely worth it.
Though I am a very self-motivated person, spending long days enjoying the company of people I love and admire definitely helps me to become less idle. Maybe my sudden spur of motivation as well as inspiration just comes from that sort of high that lingers after spending all day laughing in the warm, new spring air. Or maybe I just got a really good night’s sleep. Either way, I’m hoping it decides to stick around.